- Nick IV
It happened a few years ago at a party late one night.
I went to a house party with friends who supposedly knew the people who lived there. There was an odd vibe when we walked in the front door but would happen next was totally unexpected.
We sat down at a kitchen table and starting unloading various party favors. Bottles of hard alcohol and Mountain Dew along with baggies of weed we packed in a small bong that was passed around. About 30 minutes later, a girl came in and started asking questions with an awkward look on her face. She wanted to know who invited us and why were there. Her mood turned hostile when she demanded we “get the fuck out” and for some unknown reason she directed her attention directly at me.
Confusion ensued around the room. No one seemed to know who this girl was or why she was so angry. She continued threatening and yelling but no one was leaving and this pissed her off even more. She walked over to me and threatened to sock me in the face if I didn’t get up and leave. I felt insulted in front of my friends so I looked her straight in the eye and dared her to hit me.
Sure enough, she walked up and socked me right in the face while I sat in my chair. My fight-or-flight response kicked in as I leapt up and landed a crossing blow to her jaw as she went tumbling back into a microwave that got knocked off a stand. There was a moment of disbelief as she stood there looking at me. Nobody in the room, including myself, could believe I just socked a girl in the face. She then turned around and angrily stormed out of the kitchen.
We knew it was time to collect our things and leave. Yet before we could make it to the door, a group of guys came stampeding into the kitchen and a violent fight ensued. I barely made it out of the house with a black eye and would later learn that the girl, along with her guy friends, had been high on meth.
The world as it ought to be vs. the world as it is
As boys, we are taught it is wrong to hit a girl. But sometimes men react on reflex which means our rational minds are no longer in control. It is in this aspect of human nature that leads me to a larger point when considering the reality of sexual assault in this country.
The problem is that we spend too much time teaching kids about the world they ought to live in, but fail to teach them about the world they actually live in.
In the world we ought to live in, females should be able to go out and wear what they want without unwanted sexual attention. In the world we ought to live in, men shouldn’t feel compelled to take advantage of someone’s vulnerability.
But in the real world, the rules of morality can get thrown out in an instant as the darkest elements of human nature take over. This reality is one that parents frequently fail to acknowledge, and as a result, America’s young adults, especially females, leave their homes unprepared for the harsh reality they will soon encounter.
Accordingly, here are a few things to consider.
First off, young people need to understand that compliments and gifts come with a price. Especially for young girls, the attention can be hard to refuse but it can easily slide into a dangerous situation. In the real world, there are limits to good will.
Second, do not depend on moral lines to keep you safe. In a moral world, a Raiders fan should be able to crash a Broncos party without being assaulted. A person should be able to hike in the mountains without being attacked by a bear, and females should be able to attend a campus party with drunk and horny frat boys without feeling threatened. But this is not the reality we live in.
Thirdly, sexual assault is wrong and illegal but this will not stop it from happening. Therefore, the only way to prepare is to understand that men, by and large, have an interest in sex and parents should not shy away from this conversation. This awareness is equal to an ounce of prevention, which they say is worth a pound of cure.
In summary, the widespread efforts to address gender inequities that are common place in America are a step in the right direction. Yet people need to keep in mind that no matter how civilized and educated we become, the real world will never be free from the ugliness that made us human.
Last but not least, females should never hit a guy and assume he won’t punch you back.
Nick IV Productions 